Life lacks purpose

There is literally no meaning to life unless you intend to honour it. I live intentionally because I’m praying that it becomes my default. That when people remember me it’s not all of the stuff that I buried but rather the good things that I have been doing and the heart I put on display. I pray that when people see me that they see my light and that Jesus has overshadowed my flaws to a point of being docile. Self denial is an inaccurate translation of denying oneself. Self-denial is unhealthy and is harmful. A proper depiction is to be negligent to those things in which our flesh desires. Not to war at the flesh in our greatest effort but to neglect and to overlook the thing entirely. We manage to suck at that thing badly because we can’t be bothered to get better at sinning. Saints don’t hide evidence and horde away proof of their convictions but rather are only concerned with putting it out of our minds entirely except for reflection and for prayer and for accountability and confessions.

A Christian as i am i experience this. People make fun of me because i smoke and yet i don’t smoke. But why would i have a lighter… I wasn’t even planning on smoking. I forget to pack smokes all the time. I can’t roll them and i look stupid when i do it.

This is all a good thing. If i was trying to get better at this so that i wasn’t gonna be picked on for my sins than that wouldn’t really help me in the long run. Comfort is for godly habits not for carnal impulses.

Christians don’t remember those passwords to those bad sites and they don’t have bookmarks or secret browsers. They don’t know which site is better or have accounts so that they can comment on it because they don’t even want to be there in the first place. Why would i want messages about my favourite video. I don’t want to remember any of this.

This is the difference between us. We don’t like this stuff. I don’t know any dealers so i cant even buy weed. I dont even have a dispensary because i know that i dont need the weed im smoking and cant justify it in order to get more. I don’t want more.

And so on

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